I have to/get to travel internationally for work. Sometimes they are overnight trips but more often they are international trips for five to nine days. I miss my husband and children from the second I get to my hometown airport until I see them when I return. Interestingly, I go out of my way to help the moms traveling with infants in the ladies room in airports be able to use the bathroom with a baby and not have to drag three suitcases into a stall, and also put the strollers on the plane-side baggage check for women with babies in arms. And I also get heartsick when I see kids while I travel, missing wiping their noses, jealous of the squeals from toddlers on the plane because I know my boys are dying to go onto an airplane with me.
I have to reveal, however, that I quite enjoy my work and the travel when I take these trips. Besides getting to work with new people and experience new cultures, I get to catch up on ME. For instance, the only way I ever finish a novel is to read while I wait for planes. Also, on an international flight to Asia, I can catch up on a couple of movies (I have seen two in the theater since my six-year-old was born), sleep for eight hours, and the flight attendants bring you hot meals and wine the entire time. It is fabulous.
My favorite thing to do once I arrive at any hotel is to work out, take a shower, order room service, and watch all the channels I do not get at home. The shows are scandalously junky reality TV (The Housewives of Orange County, Eighteen Nineteen Twenty and Counting, Jersey Shore), make-over shows or bridal shows or a bridal make-over show (Hello TLC!!!), and do-it-yourself shows that inspire me to attempt projects that I neither have time for, nor add any functionality to my home. Did I mention that I do not have cable at home???? So being in a hotel room where I can eat in my pajamas while watching TV shows that I never get to see, uninterrupted, and I do not have to cook or clean is awesome, right?
Technology has helped tremendously with keeping up communication with the family, and keeping the guilt factor down. On my first trip to China less than two years ago, I would take video of myself talking in a hotel lobby an send a huge file to my kids so they would know where I was (the atrium of the Marriott, of course). Then I would wake up and find a file sent to my inbox of my husband telling my kids to say hi to mom and then the would all blow me kisses. These videos were great for getting me teary as soon as I fired up my laptop each morning, and clearly confusing to my kids. My husband had my oldest son walk into school on his first day of kindergarden and wave to me and was planning to wrap scene and walk my son into school, but my son did not realize this. This was evident in the video as he looked confused and my son whispered “just go in and come back out”. My four year old saw a video of me and started talking to me when he heard me say “Hi guys! How are you?”. Luckily, he thought it was hilarious when he realizes it was not an interactive platform, but fast forward a year later, and ta-da, we are now connected (for free!) with FaceTime.
FaceTime is confusing for a Microsoft/Blackberry heavy user like me, but is really the most Jetsons like contraption we have realized. I just take my husband’s ipod and he calls me at the agreed-upon time. Our FaceTime sessions are a scheduled call time to make sure I am not working and then there are often time zone differences and hotel internet connections to make sure work. These calls are great for getting to talk with someone while you see them, and often end up being a contest with me and the kids to see who can make the silliest face. Often they result in a pushing match among the boys in front of the laptop at home, which then means their dad sends them to timeout and then I hang up hearing a kid cry and wondering what happens afterwards.
Always important on the business trip is the gifts that you bring home. I almost always get something for my mother-in-law because she helps out with the kids tremendously when I am in town and double that when I travel (she also works full time!). Sometimes I bring something back for the kids but I try and keep it really small so that I don’t bust the budget and (mainly) so they don’t always expect it. Some of the gifts I have brought the kids include candy from the reception area in the hotel lobby, shampoo and conditioner bottles from the hotel bathroom, and eye masks from the airplane (these were a huge hit, but they were young). Once I shelled out for T-shirts for everyone and they looked at them and left them in the living room floor so I decided I would never do that again. I don’t like to feed my kids candy but it is cheap and they always love it. I let them have one piece and then we put the rest in the treasure treat bag that I keep to reward them for cutting fingernails, pooping in the potty, and haircuts.
My husband is really a saint when I travel because he runs things spectacularly. He actually says it is fine because he gets to run the whole show. He gets the kids to school, gymnastics, and soccer, they are all fed and clothed. He does this all when I am in town, too. But I still feel bad traveling because it is always harder when your backup is gone. His secret weapon is that he lets them eat pizza the entire time I am out of town. PIZZA FOR EVERY MEAL! Even breakfast. Except that time he let them have popsicles for breakfast.... You know what? One week of pizza will not kill anyone, and if it makes your life easier while your wife is out of town, go for it. The only drawback is the looks I get the first night I am back when I put the bowl of broccoli on the table.
To summarize, tips to maximize your time during business travel include:
1. Enjoy the time alone to recharge
2. Take the time waiting in airports/flying to catch up on reading
3. Use video chat to shorten the distance between you and your family
4. Bring home gifts to ease your guilt
5. Be flexible - it eases the stress for you and your family
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